Life Work Coaching Blog

“Creative people have to be fed from the divine source.” Dag Hammarskjold.

Our lives are full of activities we are supposed to engage in, productive pursuits we know are beneficial for us, actions we are frequently advised we should be doing, or are perfect for us, and yet somehow, even with our best intentions these value added disciplines are rarely completed or inconsistently executed. This is particularly evident when we select goals and create a pragmatic plan of action for a major project or key task. Many of the actions or measures we set for ourselves require doing something we are not currently doing, and while the selected activity is entirely logical and often not particularly difficult, it never seems to get done.  This is particularly frustrating when you feel you are fully committed to your goal.

I was recently sharing my dilemma with a fellow coach when she asked a question, which stopped me in my tracks! She asked: “Does whatever you are doing Source You or does it Deplete You?”

I realized immediately this question fundamentally changed my approach to planning project and goals. For example, I have had a lower back problem for many years, and everyone from doctors, to therapists, to chiropractors have advised me to make swimming the central discipline of an essential exercise program. The problem is, even though I can swim, I have never enjoyed swimming, and although I always agree to swim two or three times a week, I only managed to swim two or three times a month! As a result my commitment to my exercise program gradually fades, until the next flare up!

I realized that swimming did not ”source” me but it “depleted” me. Obviously, before you agree to or select an activity you should ask and answer several questions. Do you look forward to the activity or do you avoid it? Does the activity light you up or does it diminish your enthusiasm? Does the activity inspire you or deflate you? Does the activity integrate easily into your schedule or does it represent a major disruption? Does the activity source you or deplete you?

If the activity depletes you, even though it is the right thing to do, you should consider finding an alternative, which accomplishes similar results, and which is an activity which “sources” you. There are usually several alternatives for any activity, and even though some may not be as effective as others, it is obviously better to choose an activity with the highest probability of success.

When you are selecting activities or agreeing to complete a task ask … does this source me or deplete me? Obviously there will be occasions when you have to do the task no matter how you feel about it, or it may be the only viable choice, however, where you can and when you can, choose activities and actions which feed and sustain your energy and enthusiasm, and add to rather than diminish your chance of success.

“For light I go directly to the source of light, not to any of the reflections.” Peace Pilgrim

A critical factor in building effective relationships within any organization is Reflective Listening. Reflective Listening takes determination and clear intent, absolute focus and dynamic participation. While it takes time to perfect, I promise you, mastering this will immediately have a positive impact on every aspect of your business and personal life.

The method is straightforward. You listen, tell the person what you heard, and ask if you understood them. If they say no, you listen and reflect back the information, and ask if you understood them. Repeat until they have nothing left to say. You will see body language change and breathing slow down. Any anger, resentment or discontent disappears. And most importantly your team member becomes your immediate ally. The positive energy spreads like wildfire, attitude improves… and service improves.

Recipe for Success:

• Let go of any negative beliefs about the person you are in conversation with

• Ask open-ended questions

• No interruptions – stay focused on the person

Start practicing Reflective Listening today; master it while teaching it to your full team…not just the managers

By practicing Reflective Listening we build healthy, honest relationships, which allows others to build the same. If we teach this life-altering method to everyone around us we create an environment geared toward success. The listener implies…you’re just as important as I am and I care enough about you to hear what you’re saying: even if I don’t agree.

As owners or managers we often feel annoyed by the small, seemingly inconsequential stuff, and just as often it is these very things that add up to the big stuff! So put away your judgment and pre-conceived notions and take full responsibility for creating a successful Reflective Listening conversation. Consequently the drain of negative energy created by lack of communication and listening is completely resolved leaving space for greatness from the entire team and incredibly happy customers.

For information or to arrange sessions to build a world-class organization, a powerful team and enthusiastic and delighted customers, contact Karen or Kevin at 206-434-1521 or karen@kcarey.com

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we lead.” Flora Whittemore

The advantage of coaching is perhaps for the first time in your life it is entirely about you. Effective coaching is all about you. It is your Agenda, it is your Program, it is your Life and it is Your Future.

The coach is simply there to work with you to create a clear vision of what you want, to get you unstuck and in motion, and to guide you in removing obstacles and barriers. A coach is there to follow-through with you to attain the choices you make; to hold you accountable to your plan of action; to keep you on-track and on-focus; and to support you moving forward to attain your goals and to reach your vision.

The coach is not there to do things for you, but they are there to encourage and support you in taking positive action to create the life you aspire to.

The actions you Co-Create with your coach can include:

• Discovering what you really want in life
• Creating a clear vision of your future
• Increasing your self confidence
• Developing a plan of action
• Setting priorities and working on what really matters
• Encouraging you to reach each milestone in your plan
• Overcoming self defeating habits
• Removing barriers and obstacles
• Managing your health and wellness
• Improving your relationships
• Energizing your career
• Rediscovering your passion

And of course, celebrating your accomplishments, as you make daily progress.

“If you don’t create change, change will create you.”

To see if coaching is right for you, experience a powerful, one-hour free exploratory session, with either Kevin or Karen. To start creating a dynamic, workable plan, enabling you to achieve your dreams, call or email now to reserve a session time.