Spiral Up or Spiral Down?

October 24, 2009 - 6:51 pm 71 Comments

“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.” William Shakespeare

Every now and again you hear a phrase a saying or a quote that resonates with you so powerfully you know it will be part of your life and language forever. The words of wisdom that transformed my understanding of simple conversation are: Spiral-Up or Spiral-Down? This question asks if a conversation you are having is positive, uplifting or productive or is it negative, descending and destructive?

Now that may seem a little harsh, as many conversations are neutral, but the message is clear. “Do not start a conversation with negative information. You won’t have anywhere to go with it.” Friedman. Unfortunately, this is the problem, because if the conversation is negative it seems to Spiral-Down and drag everyone with it, however, if the conversation is positive, there is a greater chance to inspire the listener and challenge them to Spiral-Up with you. Good conversation is an exercise and a stimulus of the mind, while gossip is an exercise of the tongue, with little merit. If we are constantly exposed to positive influences we are more likely to be positive and encouraged but if we are constantly exposed to negative messages and ideas we are more likely to be depressed and dispirited.

Recently for example my wife and I decided to eliminate television from our lives. While there is much potentially good in the medium we felt the stream of information was predominantly negative, and determined we needed to find less insidious, and more productive sources for our news and entertainment. And this in many ways illustrates the problem. This predominantly Spiral-Down communication system is powerfully addictive. It is hard to resist gossip, salacious revelation, and negative innuendo even when you know it is generally destructive and rarely accurate.

After a year of abstinence we only notice the absence when friends talk about the latest reality show, and we were forced to divert the conversation to a more meaningful subject. While the words Spiral-Up and Spiral-Down are powerfully suggestive, and even using positive or negative is a context, the goal of conversation is to inform, to learn and to improve the stature of both people involved. “Conversation is the fine art of mutual consideration and communication about matters of common interest that basically have some human importance.” Tead

So the next time you are in a conversation or about to begin a conversation, pause for a moment and consider will you be Spiraling Up or Spiraling Down?

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