Life Work Coaching Blog

“Creative people have to be fed from the divine source.” Dag Hammarskjold.

Our lives are full of activities we are supposed to engage in, productive pursuits we know are beneficial for us, actions we are frequently advised we should be doing, or are perfect for us, and yet somehow, even with our best intentions these value added disciplines are rarely completed or inconsistently executed. This is particularly evident when we select goals and create a pragmatic plan of action for a major project or key task. Many of the actions or measures we set for ourselves require doing something we are not currently doing, and while the selected activity is entirely logical and often not particularly difficult, it never seems to get done.  This is particularly frustrating when you feel you are fully committed to your goal.

I was recently sharing my dilemma with a fellow coach when she asked a question, which stopped me in my tracks! She asked: “Does whatever you are doing Source You or does it Deplete You?”

I realized immediately this question fundamentally changed my approach to planning project and goals. For example, I have had a lower back problem for many years, and everyone from doctors, to therapists, to chiropractors have advised me to make swimming the central discipline of an essential exercise program. The problem is, even though I can swim, I have never enjoyed swimming, and although I always agree to swim two or three times a week, I only managed to swim two or three times a month! As a result my commitment to my exercise program gradually fades, until the next flare up!

I realized that swimming did not ”source” me but it “depleted” me. Obviously, before you agree to or select an activity you should ask and answer several questions. Do you look forward to the activity or do you avoid it? Does the activity light you up or does it diminish your enthusiasm? Does the activity inspire you or deflate you? Does the activity integrate easily into your schedule or does it represent a major disruption? Does the activity source you or deplete you?

If the activity depletes you, even though it is the right thing to do, you should consider finding an alternative, which accomplishes similar results, and which is an activity which “sources” you. There are usually several alternatives for any activity, and even though some may not be as effective as others, it is obviously better to choose an activity with the highest probability of success.

When you are selecting activities or agreeing to complete a task ask … does this source me or deplete me? Obviously there will be occasions when you have to do the task no matter how you feel about it, or it may be the only viable choice, however, where you can and when you can, choose activities and actions which feed and sustain your energy and enthusiasm, and add to rather than diminish your chance of success.

“For light I go directly to the source of light, not to any of the reflections.” Peace Pilgrim

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we lead.” Flora Whittemore

The advantage of coaching is perhaps for the first time in your life it is entirely about you. Effective coaching is all about you. It is your Agenda, it is your Program, it is your Life and it is Your Future.

The coach is simply there to work with you to create a clear vision of what you want, to get you unstuck and in motion, and to guide you in removing obstacles and barriers. A coach is there to follow-through with you to attain the choices you make; to hold you accountable to your plan of action; to keep you on-track and on-focus; and to support you moving forward to attain your goals and to reach your vision.

The coach is not there to do things for you, but they are there to encourage and support you in taking positive action to create the life you aspire to.

The actions you Co-Create with your coach can include:

• Discovering what you really want in life
• Creating a clear vision of your future
• Increasing your self confidence
• Developing a plan of action
• Setting priorities and working on what really matters
• Encouraging you to reach each milestone in your plan
• Overcoming self defeating habits
• Removing barriers and obstacles
• Managing your health and wellness
• Improving your relationships
• Energizing your career
• Rediscovering your passion

And of course, celebrating your accomplishments, as you make daily progress.

“If you don’t create change, change will create you.”

To see if coaching is right for you, experience a powerful, one-hour free exploratory session, with either Kevin or Karen. To start creating a dynamic, workable plan, enabling you to achieve your dreams, call or email now to reserve a session time.

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” Robbins

We are frequently and enthusiastically and often relentlessly encouraged to think positively and to have faith in ourselves. A legitimate reaction to this hectoring would be to ask if these are just words parroted by well meaning people, who seem out of touch with the world I live in, or are they revealing a formula for success?

The reality is, whatever the motivation, positive thinking, leads to positive results. In other words we are what we think. And as the focus is positive, this is obviously an invocation to eliminate or to minimize negative thoughts and beliefs. As F. Bosworth recommended: “Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts.”

Research has demonstrated that the brain, a chemical and electrical powerhouse, responds to frequent thoughts by forming connections, links and nodes to make these thoughts more easily accessible. If we think positive, we get more positive connections, and a greater focus on positive thoughts, and if we focus on the negative … we gain more negative thinking opportunity! As Napoleon Hill notes: “What Ever The Mind Can Conceive and BELIEVE, It Can Achieve.”

This is interesting, but where did all of these negative beliefs come from?

The Child is Father of the Man

“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.”

Most beliefs are formed when we are young children, when we are totally dependent on others, unable to think or fend for ourselves, we relied upon elders to guide, show and demonstrate. Unfortunately the child’s perception is that everyone appears competent and we the child are remarkably ineffective.

This early overwhelming demonstration of our incompetence is often reinforced by well meaning parents and elders who negatively reinforce, for fear the child will over reach and get hurt.

It is a little premature to explain to the child that life IS about making mistakes, and by using experiential feedback to modify our understanding and to adjust our actions we learn and apply the lessons of life. Throughout our lives we are constantly breaking new ground, pioneering new territory and cautiously moving out of our comfort zone and into the realm of possibility.

To be successful in life it is vital to have strong positive belief in yourself, and a resolve to succeed by planning and preparing appropriately, and by taking action with faith and confidence in a positive outcome. “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” France.

Fact or Interpretation?

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than death” Robert Fulghum

One powerful technique to attack negative beliefs or assumptions is to simply ask … Is this a Fact or an Interpretation? We use this as part of our Coaching Clearing Exercise as the first action of the day. This is combined with taking a Stand for the Day, as a reminder of what is important, what is positive, and what your belief can manifest.

So think and act positively, believe in yourself, and move forward with confidence. If you would like to learn how to incorporate the powerful Clearing Exercise into your daily planning call Kevin or Karen for more information. “Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.” Gandhi